OUR GENERATION ISN'T LAZY, BUT I AM

Most days, I rot away in my room, nestled under ash-stained bed sheets like a hibernating dormouse. Picture the giant insect lying on its back, Gregor Samsa from Kafka’s Metamorphosis. Only, I didn’t wake up one day to find myself reduced to vermin, it sort of has always been this way for as long as I can think back to, which is to say I didn’t become lazy overnight. 

Let's set the record straight: Gen Z is undeniably intelligent and progressive, we place emphasis on social justice and representation, push for gender and racial equality, and when we’re not doom-scrolling, we’re going to school, university, our jobs. But, there’s this prenotion that we are lazy and selfish, and I can confidently say that our generation is neither, but I am. Perhaps laziness isn’t the best adjective to use given its negative connotations. I prefer to call it selective living. Being the hedonist I am, I find it very difficult to do something I’m not willing to do, and often I’m not willing to do much of anything other than what I know I like doing. 

Hedonism is defined as a belief in which pleasure is the most important principle, seeking pleasure and trying best to avoid pain. It sounds like a pretty simple concept that many of us will easily identify with, yet most get caught up in the race, trying to climb the corporate ladder and stuck in jobs where they never see the sun or light of day. I watched both my parents live a constricted life in their nine-to-five careers, and that’s not to say that a job cannot derive pleasure, but most of what truly makes us happy does not exist within the walls of an office. My dad passed away a few years ago, and what pains me most is everything he never got to do, or deprived himself of in this lifetime. He always said he wanted to go to Italy or learn how to play guitar, but between work and kids, the time never presented itself. When it is my time to go, I hope I can look back and see a life of pleasure and delight, having not a single regret for how I chose to pursue happiness instead of submitting myself to a dreary existence. 

There’s a lot of pressure on young people to succeed. I am a twenty year old woman expected to get good grades in university while not being able to afford to pay rent due to inflation; expected to have a job; visit home every few weeks so my family doesn’t feel my absence so much, and have a thrilling social life because these are the best years of my life. And perhaps they are the best years of my life, but only so if I continue to live them by my hedonistic ways and prioritise my pleasure. 

Also, I’m also overly conscious of capitalism and don’t feel entirely motivated to work ten hours a day, five days a week, to earn the minimum wage so some white man on top can get richer while the rest of us struggle to get by, and if that makes me lazy then so be it, but I think it’s rather a blessing that I’m awake enough and care enough about my time to not wish it away on my feet all day, counting down the hours until I can leave, make dinner, fall asleep and repeat the same thing the very next day. 

As a lazy girl, there is that part of me that feels guilt and shame for not having figured my shit out yet, and most days I feel like a failure of a twenty-year-old, and I suppose what I ponder on most is whether this guilt and shame is coming from the outside or the inside. Is the outside noise seeping in to my space or are my instincts telling me that this isn’t who I am supposed to be? Am I happy or just distracted; fulfilled or just occupied? Am I confusing voluntary seclusion with liberation? I suppose I’m not quite sure where I stand, but what I do know is that I am doing what I believe to be best, and if in the future I look back and read this and cringe, then so be it, but for now I’m cosy and content, and you will always knowwhere to find me.