SOMEWHERE BETWEEN RIPE AND ROTTING

(after, ‘A parental expose’) 

Somewhere between ripe and rotting, I will love me again 

Wear my flesh like rind and reclaim my sweetness

I am not dying yet, but I am not living         and I am thirsty 

For days, dazed and drugged on dirt’s divinity, brown knees

Nestled under the willow tree, the sun promises to purify me

Before the night swallows it whole, and regurgitates it tomorrow.

Somewhere between ripe and rotting, I will shatter my shame 

Shed my sin, kiss palm to palm and nail a cross above my bed

Rid myself of impiety and feel what it feels to be clean.

I will walk the veins of the forests and trail the spines of the hills

Forage for berries and fall stupidly in love, over and over and over 

With the art of existence and one day I will mean it when I say 

I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. I want to live.